3 down, 9 to go!  It feels so good to be able to say I have less than 10 treatments left.  Getting Taxol through chemo every Monday hasn’t been as bad as I was anticipating. The symptoms this chemo brings are a bit milder than the last chemo I was getting.  On the plus side, my appetite has returned and I am not as exhausted as the first chemo.  I experienced a metallic taste in my mouth for a bit, but it has left and not come back for quite some time now.  So I hope it stays well away. I am loving being able to enjoy food again.  On the down side, I seem to be experiencing a bit of what they call “chemo brain” with this chemo.  I seem to be a bit more forgetful and have been a bit confused regarding dates of events, etc.  Poor Halle has been the one to really feel the consequences of this forgetfulness and confusion, as she has had specific things to bring to school on specific dates.  Let’s just say some things didn’t make it to school, while the ones that did made it there on the wrong days... Thank goodness for me, she is very forgiving and understanding. This chemo is also different from the last, as I seem to feel its tiring effects toward the end of the week as opposed to the beginning.  Oddly enough, I feel pretty good right after chemo as well as the few days following.  It is usually around Thursday that I start feeling pretty tired.  But again, not as exhausted as I experienced with the first 2 drugs, so I am very happy about that. I do not have to get the Neulasta shot (shot to boost my white blood cell count) with this particular chemo, which I am ecstatic about.  One less prick and poke J. I will be meeting with my oncologist this coming Monday for the first time since I have started Taxol. I am hoping he will be as pleased with the way things are going as he has been so far.  I feel so fortunate to have had a milder case of physical symptoms than most people while going through chemo.  I will admit it has not been as hard on me physically as it has been on me mentally and emotionally. I can deal with being tired, nauseous, pain in my fingertips, stomach problems, and even hair loss. I know this too shall pass.  It has been much harder to deal with slowing down, not being able to do all I used to do, feeling like I can’t take care of my family like I used to, having to rely on others a lot more.  I at times have felt without purpose.  Or standing still, not able to go forward, like our life has been put on pause for a while.  I try to keep these thoughts at bay. The few times they have infiltrated my mind, I find much strength in the scriptures and kneeling in prayer, finding comfort through my Savior and Heavenly Father.  Strength also comes in the embrace of my loving husband, family, and in the number of thoughts and prayers of loved ones. I have become grateful for this opportunity to grow, to become stronger than before.  I have realized that I would be in much more of a standstill if I did not have any adversity in my life.  I am learning so much about myself and my relationships.  I am so grateful for a loving Father in Heaven, who provides me with the tools I need to make it through difficult times. For all the tougher times in my life, I am thankful.  For it has brought with them a deeper and more personal relationship with my Father in Heaven, an increased understanding of who I am and who I can become.  Thank you again for lifting me up through this journey.  I am overwhelmed with thankfulness for each of you.

It has been too long since I last updated the blog. We have gone through two more treatments since my last blog update.  Both treatments brought with them the usual symptoms of fatigue and nausea, but this time accompanied with the wonderful symptoms that come with allergy season.  It has helped tremendously to have Jason’s mother keep the children for a couple of days when I go in for chemo.  The rest I get those first few days after treatment is crucial to how I feel the rest of the week.  Jason and my parents have been a huge help here as well in helping take care of the children and allowing me to get the rest I need.  I am so blessed with an incredible support group.   This last treatment, which was this past Monday, marked the end of my first “round” of chemo.  I was to get 2 drugs for 4 treatments, every other week.  Monday was the last of those 4. I will begin a new drug (Taxol) on April 30^th and will be receiving chemo weekly for 12 weeks.  This should then mark the end of my treatments.  I must admit I will sorely miss my weeks off in between treatments.  It has been quite nice to get a week where I would feel as close to normal as possible.  But the sooner we can get treatments over with, the better! So I am ready to tackle this new schedule. I will meet with my oncologist on Monday to further discuss this next round of treatments.  With every appointment I have had with him, he has been well pleased with how I have handled treatments so far.  I am maintaining my weight and my white blood cell count has been good and steady.  I still get a Neulasta shot the day after each treatment to boost my white blood cell count.  He hasn’t had to give me any additional shots as my levels have been satisfactory.  This is very good.  I am hoping to be able to keep this up for the next 12 weeks.  This past month brought with it bittersweet moments.  Bitter being the reach of a new milestone.  I turned 30 on March 28^th!!!  I can hardly believe it.  I was always a bit afraid of this number, but turns out I feel just the same as I did when I was 29.  So not such a big deal after all.  The sweetness of this moment was the surprise arrival of my older sister Melanie, who lives in Montreal, Canada. She surprised me the night of my birthday, and surprise me she did!  I frightened my son as I screamed so loud when I saw her walk through the threshold. Jason said Jaden almost leaped out of his arms he was so startled by my reaction.  I consider my siblings (my own and my husband’s) my best friends and being able to celebrate with her was the best present I could’ve ever asked for.  I am so grateful to her husband for holding down the fort back home so she could come.  As if that wasn’t surprise enough, a few days after my sister left, my brother Etienne and his wife Melany came in from Montreal as well for yet another surprise visit.  It was so incredible to be able to spend time with such loved ones so unexpectedly. A sweet reunion it was. Turning 30 ended up not being so bad after all!

the day has come, the hair must go

As Jason posted Monday, we have completed a second round of chemo. The fatigue and nausea have somewhat intensified compared to the last round, but definitely nothing too bad. I feel so blessed to not be so sick. I have been anticipating the hairloss to occur around this time, since we were told that's when it usually happens.  I was a bit taken by surprise though, as I was running my fingers through my hair while getting ready to head out for chemo Monday morning.  Hair started falling out with every stroke.  It got progressively worse as the day went on.  Hair was all over my pillow as I awoke Tuesday morning and as the day progressed, strands became more like clumps.  This morning I again awoke to a pillow covered in hair.  It became apparent that the day had come.  So I had my personal stylist, my dear sister Arianne, come and do the job.  We were both very nervous and in no hurry to get started.  She lovingly buzzed her youngest son Mason's hair in an act of support before we got started.  He is such a stud.  We tried to stall for quite a bit but eventually got to the task at hand.  Even through the nervousnes, I felt a great peace.  I know this is only for a moment.  It is only physical and I know it will grow back.  I have been so uplifted by all of you, by those who have shaved their heads in loving support, and by the tremendous amounts of prayers.  It gave me the strength I needed.  And I now know how it feels to shave my head.  It was something I always wondered what it would feel like, and especially look like.  It feels different, that's for sure.  A welcome cool breeze on the top of my head as the thermometer has been climbing lately.  I will mostly be sporting scarves and hats from now on.  I have been contemplating getting a wig, but we will see. I know I do this at the end of each post, but it doesn't feel right to log off without thanking you.  This all would be way too much without your support.  I feel like my family and I have been able to go through this experience with such peace and comfort, and I know it is because of your love, thoughts, support and prayers.  It wouldn't be right to let a moment go by without thanking you and my Father in Heaven.

We have gone through another round of Chemo, and Audree is still as strong as ever.  It is tough on her body, and the thought of losing her hair is tough on her, but she is holding strong.  The week that she has chemo is tough and takes her a few days to recover.  On facebook my brother created a group called Team Audree.  And a lot of people have posted their support by shaving their heads for her.  All these little things have made this experience a lot easier, and has brought smiles to our faces.  Audree keeps being super mom and spouse.  From talking to her you would not be able to tell that she is going through cancer treatment.  I know this because of all the prayers we have received on her behalf.  Their may be a lot of different religions involved, but as a christian community it is amazing to see everyone come together to pray for one person.  Throughout this process I am continually reminded of the parable in the scriptures that talks about the lost sheep, and how the shepherd (Jesus Christ) will not leave even one behind, that the worth of all souls are great. 

First I have to say, that everyone has been awesome, and we love all the support we are getting from everyone.  We have received lots of cards, flowers, gifts, and even have lots of people shaving their heads in support of Audree.  We have truly been blessed, and all the love and support has made this such an easier thing to deal with.  Today was Audree's first Chemo session, and so far so good.  It took almost 3.5 hours for the treatment from setup to finish.  I was not able to sit with her, but when I picked her up she said she felt fine.  I contribute that to how in shape and fit she is.  She has always eaten right and worked out each day.  So I guess that stuff is good for you.  I am trying to follow her lead.  She has been amazing through this whole thing and has been able to laugh and enjoy this process even though it is very unpleasant.  Staying positive is key and she is awesome at it.  I could not have received a better eternal partner than her, she really makes everyone around her better.  The plan is Chemo every other Monday for 2 months (4 treatments for all you English majors).  After that she will have treatment once a week for 12 weeks.  This is the plan the doctor put us on, and he said this could change in that it would be decreased or increased depending on the results.  The best way to look at it is 2 different treatments because she is being injected with different medications.  One is 4 treatments the other is 12 treatments.  We do not expect all the treatments to be as smooth as this one.  They said the first treatment is given at a slower pace to allow your body to get use to it, but we are praying for all of them to be as smooth as the first.  I hope they go that way for the sake of our kids because I cannot take care of our kids the way she can.  She is an amazing mother and wife, and I do not want to see her suffer.  Thanks for the support!!!

Recovery from surgery is going very well. I am pleasantly surprised with the amount of energy I have had these past 2 weeks.  I know it has a great deal to do with the many prayers and positive thoughts that come my way.  Thank you all for that!  There are a few adjustments that come with a mastectomy and I am learning to cope with them. I still feel a bit of stiffness in my right arm and have different stretches to do that will help bring mobility back.  

I saw my oncologist today to discuss the next steps.  Chemo treatments will start as early as next Monday, March 5^th.  I will receive a treatment every other week for the first eight weeks.  Each of those treatments will take approximately 3.5 hours and will require a next day shot to boost the white cells count.

After the first 8 weeks of chemo are completed, I will be given one treatment per week for 12 weeks.  After the 20 weeks of chemo are done, I must take monthly medicine for a period of 5 years.  The doctor said that considering the size of the tumor, there is a 30% chance of re-occurrence without chemo treatments.  Chemo will reduce the risk by 25%, bringing it down to approximately 23%.  

The usual negative side effects of chemo are expected, but we will take it one day at a time.  Radiation is not going to be necessary as the margins they removed around the tumor are clear, as well as the sentinel lymphnodes.  I am so grateful for that. The Lord has blessed us tremendously with wonderful people to cheer us on and encourage us.  We want to thank you for showing us such love and support.   

This is day 4 after surgery and Audree is doing great.  She is in pain around the left side where they removed the breast.  Today we took the dressing off, and we both agreed that it looked really good.  The surgeon did a great job.  Audree had this picture in her head of what it would look like but it turned out to look better than expected.  She still has the JP drain and we hope that will be taken out on Monday when we go to the doctor.  That drain helps get all the fluid, and blood out of the pocket in her chest.  We hope on Monday Audree will be able to start exercising.  She is really tight under her arm and wants to stay in shape.  Our kids have been staying at my parents house, so Audree can rest and so that my mom can spend some quality time with them.  My mom is in heaven, but not being with the kids has been tough on Audree, but I feel that it has been good for her to rest, and try to recover.  Hopefully when we look back we will realize this was the best decision, even though it is hard to be away from your kids for more than a day.  We received a lot of support from friends, family, and extended CFA family.  We will keep you posted!!!