Thursday, May 17, 2012


3 down, 9 to go!  It feels so good to be able to say I have less than 10 treatments left.  Getting Taxol through chemo every Monday hasn’t been as bad as I was anticipating. The symptoms this chemo brings are a bit milder than the last chemo I was getting.  On the plus side, my appetite has returned and I am not as exhausted as the first chemo.  I experienced a metallic taste in my mouth for a bit, but it has left and not come back for quite some time now.  So I hope it stays well away. I am loving being able to enjoy food again.  On the down side, I seem to be experiencing a bit of what they call “chemo brain” with this chemo.  I seem to be a bit more forgetful and have been a bit confused regarding dates of events, etc.  Poor Halle has been the one to really feel the consequences of this forgetfulness and confusion, as she has had specific things to bring to school on specific dates.  Let’s just say some things didn’t make it to school, while the ones that did made it there on the wrong days... Thank goodness for me, she is very forgiving and understanding. This chemo is also different from the last, as I seem to feel its tiring effects toward the end of the week as opposed to the beginning.  Oddly enough, I feel pretty good right after chemo as well as the few days following.  It is usually around Thursday that I start feeling pretty tired.  But again, not as exhausted as I experienced with the first 2 drugs, so I am very happy about that. I do not have to get the Neulasta shot (shot to boost my white blood cell count) with this particular chemo, which I am ecstatic about.  One less prick and poke J. I will be meeting with my oncologist this coming Monday for the first time since I have started Taxol. I am hoping he will be as pleased with the way things are going as he has been so far.  I feel so fortunate to have had a milder case of physical symptoms than most people while going through chemo.  I will admit it has not been as hard on me physically as it has been on me mentally and emotionally. I can deal with being tired, nauseous, pain in my fingertips, stomach problems, and even hair loss. I know this too shall pass.  It has been much harder to deal with slowing down, not being able to do all I used to do, feeling like I can’t take care of my family like I used to, having to rely on others a lot more.  I at times have felt without purpose.  Or standing still, not able to go forward, like our life has been put on pause for a while.  I try to keep these thoughts at bay. The few times they have infiltrated my mind, I find much strength in the scriptures and kneeling in prayer, finding comfort through my Savior and Heavenly Father.  Strength also comes in the embrace of my loving husband, family, and in the number of thoughts and prayers of loved ones. I have become grateful for this opportunity to grow, to become stronger than before.  I have realized that I would be in much more of a standstill if I did not have any adversity in my life.  I am learning so much about myself and my relationships.  I am so grateful for a loving Father in Heaven, who provides me with the tools I need to make it through difficult times. For all the tougher times in my life, I am thankful.  For it has brought with them a deeper and more personal relationship with my Father in Heaven, an increased understanding of who I am and who I can become.  Thank you again for lifting me up through this journey.  I am overwhelmed with thankfulness for each of you.

1 comment:

  1. Audree, you are such an inspiration to me! I was in tears by the end of this post! You have such a strong, beautiful spirit and I'm so grateful to have an example like you in my life! My prayers are with you!
    Becca

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